Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
