i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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