WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize