did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
