I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
