"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
