I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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