the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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