On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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