Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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