I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
