I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
