Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
