i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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