Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize