just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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