i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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