he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
