It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
