Quick, to the slutcave!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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