I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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