U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
