He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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