Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
