Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize