actually, I'm a sock model
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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