ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
