dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize