You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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