I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
