is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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