I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
