So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
