"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
