This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
