Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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