The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
