a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
