i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's always time for handjobs
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
