Sry I called you an 8
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
