If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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