I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just found puke in my bra..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you had me at cake vodka
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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