STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
operation harelip BJ is a go
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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