People with herpes should wear stickers.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
No I am not eating basil off your cock
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
