Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
