dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
