Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
