we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You are the jesus of drinking
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize