Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
