yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
