how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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