I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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