I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
vagina is talking i cant
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
