then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
