I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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