Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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