the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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