it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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