Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
