too bad you live with your parents still
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
