She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
