If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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