i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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