who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
