She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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