Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
