Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
there's paper in my vomit.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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