those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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