can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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